I just found this gem of a quotation on Jon Katz's blog. He recently participated in an animal rescue of Simon, an abused and neglected donkey. Simon is thriving on Jon's Bedlam Farm, but Jon has felt the impact of Simon more than Simon has felt the impact of Jon. Jon writes,
"Life is strange, life is curious. Had anyone told me I would be adopting a donkey on a farm in 2011, I would just have shaken my head. If you are open to it, life will find you. If you do not live a life in fear, your light will shine on the most surprising places."
Yesterday, I asked about going with the flow of life rather than against it, but today's question looks forward. In Stephen Ministry right now, we're studying our spiritual gifts, figuring them out and exploring ways to let God's gracious gifts to us shine through us to help others. Jon's comment about fear really spoke to me personally, as my fear is getting in the way of letting my light shine...and has for years. Do you have a gift that you are holding back on because of fear? What can you do about it?
For years I had a fear of going against the flow - other peoples flow - and of saying no. I tried to please too many people instead of pleasing myself and it started to make me feel resentful. My father was a great pacifist; he would do whatever others wanted to 'keep the peace' and it became habit forming with an occasional outburst of frustration. Sadly dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he suddenly realised that saying no occasionally and putting himself first now and again didn't cause the sky to fall in on him but this realisation came too late for him. Because of dad's illness and being aware of his realisation made me rethink my attitude of 'anything to keep the peace' regimen. I no longer fear saying politely but firmly 'no' I don't wish to do I would rather do this instead! I feel much more content with myself and happier taking on committments because it is now my choice and not 'forced' upon me.
ReplyDeleteWhat an important lesson to learn, Lynn, and thank you for sharing it. I think most people struggle with this. We're hardwired to "keep the peace" and it can so easily cross over into feeling exploited and disregarded. Assertive self-defense can be hard to learn (oh so hard in the case of first-born pleasers like me!), but it's essential for personal happiness!
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