Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Where Has My Mind Gone?

In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry discovers Dumbledore's pensieve, a device that allows the headmaster to siphon off thoughts and look at them outside his brain. He tells Harry that it's useful when he has too many thoughts.

I want a pensieve.

My head is so crammed with thoughts that my memory circuits and gross motor coordination are suffering burnout. I remember, years ago, a virtual stranger telling me to be extra careful as I prepared our second house for sale. She said that stressed and busy people are so preoccupied with their thoughts they forget important things and get careless with their bodies. She recommended lists and staying centered in my body as I worked.

Before I started my Crazy Cleaning Witch frenzy on Monday, I reminded myself of this woman's sage advice and then promptly did the following:

1. I found the kids' Halloween cards in a box in the craft room. Forgot to give them on Halloween as planned.

2. I forgot an entire conversation about financials George claims we had. Suspect he had the conversation with his imaginary wife Bambi, who runs marathons, and has red hair without a lick of gray and large ta-tas. I hate her.

3. I forgot Jack had fed Daisy and thus committed the grievous mommy crime of entering a child's bedroom after he's supposed to be asleep. Remembered just as his eager and very awake face lit up that yes, he did indeed feed Daisy that afternoon.

4. I dropped a small bookshelf on my toe. No damage done, but as I had told myself "Don't drop this bookshelf on your toe" before I picked it up in the first place, I felt pretty stupid.

5. I have a bruise on my thigh. No idea where it came from.

6. I scraped a knuckle and cut a finger and didn't notice either until sticky blood caught my attention.

7. I decided to wait until Friday to move heavy stuff to the basement so George, who has Friday off, could help. Wait. That's actually sane and sensible.

This morning, George came downstairs and asked, "Do you remember telling me you sewed the button back on my brown pants?"

"Sure," I said.

He laughed. "Well, you didn't."

I clearly remember sewing that darn button on months ago. My brain is now telling me I've accomplished things I haven't in an effort to whittle the to do list down to something manageable, which is a clear indication that I need professional help. Pretty soon, when my house is ready to go on the market and I win my gold medal for "Best Staged House of 2011" Award, I'm going to find a psychiatrist and demand valium with a whiskey chaser and sleep for a week.

Maybe my mind will come back to me.

I think I'm going to need it.


  1. I hear you, Susan. I've done this mad cleaning and organizing frenzy to make my home as beautiful as possible for sale. I don't envy you this part, but I do think you will feel great satisfaction when it is done. Take care of yourself. Remember that beautiful new home awaiting you at the end of it all. :-). Sit down and have a quiet coffee every now and then, you deserve it.

  2. Hmmmm.....DH and I were just saying we needed to move just to get rid of all the junk we've accumulated. Maybe I just need to clean and purge! hehe

  3. You are not alone. I've done similar stuff - of course I can't remember what it was, but I *know* I have (unless I'm suffering from #8 too). Oh and I'm really glad my husband isn't the only one with an invisible wife!

    Good luck with the move. I've done it 3 times in the past 6 years (all three times in the winter!). I wish I had sage advise to share, but I've blocked those memories (at least I hope that is what happened).

  4. Love the Bambi wife comment! My hubby's version would be a small, blonde who loves to cook and clean LOL.

    Hang in there! It will be over soon enough and I can relate to your brain and we aren't even prepping to sell - now THAT is a scarey thought!!

    Your Cleaning Witch frenzy has rubbed off on me as I spent four hours sorting through things today and think I will continue tomorrow and on into the long weekend -- I'm riding the wave as long as it is there....could I be having sympathetic Cleaning Witch pains for you?! Hubby will be thrilled with the outcome LOL! How much longer are you cleaning??!!!!

    Hang in there - once you are enjoying your wonderful new home, this will be but a distant memory - or whatever your brain decides to do with the info wink, wink.

  5. Gets worse when you reach 68. Especially if you are fat. I'm dangerous when I have these days. And large ta-tahs are overrated. They cause back pain if you're out of shape.

  6. Cross your arms in front of you and grab (squeeze) your earlobes while doing deep knee bends. This is suppose to help improve your memeory. :)


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