This is today's second post. Please scroll down to the first post.
Many, many thanks for all the kind comments on the In Memoriam post and in emails. Really, you have no idea what your kindness means to me.
A friend emailed me today, admitting that she had grieved for her childhood cat more than for her grandparents, whom she loved very much. When I read that, I remembered an article I read years ago, long before we even brought Hoover into our lives. The article stated that often the grief is more intense when we lose pets because our relationships with them are MUCH less complicated than our relationships with people. It's not really that we love our animals more than we love the people we lose. It's the simplicity of our relationship with animals that makes the loss more traumatic.
That makes sense to me.
My Aunt Sylvia also sent a lovely email, which she closed with the following:
"And finally, from Carly Simon, 'Don't mind if I fall apart - there's more room in a broken heart.' And from me....even after it heals...that extra room remains to love more fully again."
Thank you all for not minding that I fall apart. I toyed with the idea of a Things for Thursday post with a photo of Hoover's collar but decided that was just too maudlin and felt that the old boy wouldn't have approved. I have pulled it together enough to write a post about our recent vacation to Minnesota. Most of it was simply transcribed from notes I wrote during the trip. It's a good thing life is so rich and wonderful, even in the midst of sadness.
Susan, IMHO, you should write whenever, and whatever you want that makes grieving for Hoover easier! I very much enjoyed your vacation story, Part I, and look forward to Part II. Sounds like it was a good trip, overall! Of course, we haven't been filled in on the ER trips (trips???) yet! Can't wait for that story! Thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteSusan,
ReplyDeleteI thought of you often the last two days as I saw hundreds of yellow butterflies.
Peace and love.
Ginny
In addition to the uncomplicatedness, I think a huge part of the magnified grief at the loss of furry friends is that we are constantly confronted with their absence in our daily life and routines. Their lives are so intertwined with ours, and then when they are gone, we are repeatedly slapped in the face with that loss. A million daily routines are stripped of the love and laughter and companionship they once had. I feel for you so much, Susan.
ReplyDeleteWe have friends who have been in the funeral home business for many years. Several years ago, they opened a separate pet cremation business, and soon realized it would require a full-time grief counselor on staff. Many people have a much harder time dealing with the loss of a pet than a family member. Not surprising really. Animals just love us for who we are. They give so much and ask for little in return. People, on the other hand, have a real knack for making life more complicated than it needs to be.
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