Today, I am grateful we have a contract on the old house. Hopefully, this one doesn't fall through like the last one did!
Today, I am grateful for experienced professionals who do good work. We now have a patio in the back yard, and the back yard has been graded and seeded. If we are fortunate with the weather, we'll have the beginnings of grass in about two weeks! The front yard is completely exposed to the prevailing winds and cannot be seeded for perhaps another month, but at least the back is in progress!
Today, I am grateful for a full week of school so I can truly make some progress getting the house organized.
Today, I am grateful for George, a man who makes life fun.
Today, I am grateful for bird song, for stars that shine at night, and for running water.
What are you grateful for today?
Monday, April 16, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
Words, Words, Words about Spells of Calm
"...it is important that there should be places where not a great deal happens because such places remind us that life is not entirely and exclusively made up of exciting or significant events. Every life needs spells of calm, every life needs expanses of time when nothing much occurs, when one may sit for several hours in the same place and gaze upon static things, upon some waxen-leafed desert plant, perhaps, or a patch of dry grass. Or a group of cattle standing under a tree for the shade, the slow, flicking movement of their tails the only indication that they are animate beasts, not rocks; or a sky across which no clouds, or perhaps only the merest wisp of white, move."
--Alexander McCall Smith, from The Limpopo Academy of Private Detection
I don't remember when I started reading the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series by Alexander McCall Smith, but it's been a favorite of mine for a long time. Smith's style is simple, clean, and appropriate to his characters, who are carefully drawn, deceptively complex, and extremely likable.
What is your version of gazing upon a group of cattle under a tree for shade? What spells of calm do you cultivate in your life, spells in which there is no agenda, no purpose, nothing to do except recharge your heart, mind, body, soul?
--Alexander McCall Smith, from The Limpopo Academy of Private Detection
I don't remember when I started reading the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency series by Alexander McCall Smith, but it's been a favorite of mine for a long time. Smith's style is simple, clean, and appropriate to his characters, who are carefully drawn, deceptively complex, and extremely likable.
What is your version of gazing upon a group of cattle under a tree for shade? What spells of calm do you cultivate in your life, spells in which there is no agenda, no purpose, nothing to do except recharge your heart, mind, body, soul?
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Things on Thursday: Basketball Goal
Two weekends ago, we bought a basketball goal. The large expanse of concrete outside our side-entry garage is perfect for basketball, and all three of my boys love shootin' hoops!
Today's photos were taken by George.
Which reminds me of a funny story about basketball and whores.
Nick and George were playing HORSE at the basketball court in our old neighborhood a couple of years ago. When they got to H-O-R, Nick asked George, "What is a whore?" George dodged the question and told Nick to ask me.
A while later at the dinner table, George announced that Nick had a question for me. Nick lit up and eagerly asked, "Mom, what's a whore?"
I replied, without hesitation or blushing, "A woman who has sex for money."
"Wow," George said. "You didn't even hesitate."
"No. No, I didn't," I replied smugly.
Sometimes, it's fun being a grown-up.
Today's photos were taken by George.
Which reminds me of a funny story about basketball and whores.
Nick and George were playing HORSE at the basketball court in our old neighborhood a couple of years ago. When they got to H-O-R, Nick asked George, "What is a whore?" George dodged the question and told Nick to ask me.
A while later at the dinner table, George announced that Nick had a question for me. Nick lit up and eagerly asked, "Mom, what's a whore?"
I replied, without hesitation or blushing, "A woman who has sex for money."
"Wow," George said. "You didn't even hesitate."
"No. No, I didn't," I replied smugly.
Sometimes, it's fun being a grown-up.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Gratitude Journal #133
Today, I am grateful for a joyful celebration of the Resurrection yesterday in worship. Up from the grave he arose!
Today, I am grateful to have had my friend Mary visit our crazy chaos yesterday to eat lunch and watch golf.
Today, I am grateful for Bubba Watson, whose attitude toward the game of golf made me pull for him all the way to the green jacket. Congratulations, Bubba.
Today, I am grateful for having our furniture...finally. Since Thursday, we've been sleeping on real beds, eating at a solid wood table, and trying to put clothes away in actual, honest-to-goodness dressers. It's wonderful!
Today, I am grateful for the chaos before the order. (If I say it, I might start feeling it!) This isn't the table we've been eating on (obviously) because the bolts were stripped after eight moves of assembly and disassembly and it won't stand up. Yet. We'll get it figured out. In the meantime, the breakfast table works just fine.
Today, I am grateful for this, our tenth move in 26 years. May it be the last move for a lonnnnng time!
What are you grateful for today?
Today, I am grateful to have had my friend Mary visit our crazy chaos yesterday to eat lunch and watch golf.
Today, I am grateful for Bubba Watson, whose attitude toward the game of golf made me pull for him all the way to the green jacket. Congratulations, Bubba.
Today, I am grateful for having our furniture...finally. Since Thursday, we've been sleeping on real beds, eating at a solid wood table, and trying to put clothes away in actual, honest-to-goodness dressers. It's wonderful!
Today, I am grateful for the chaos before the order. (If I say it, I might start feeling it!) This isn't the table we've been eating on (obviously) because the bolts were stripped after eight moves of assembly and disassembly and it won't stand up. Yet. We'll get it figured out. In the meantime, the breakfast table works just fine.
Today, I am grateful for this, our tenth move in 26 years. May it be the last move for a lonnnnng time!
What are you grateful for today?
Friday, April 6, 2012
Words, Words, Words for Good Friday
Almighty God,
graciously behold this your family,
for whom our Lord Jesus Christ was willing
to be betrayed into the hand of sinners,
and to suffer death upon the cross;
who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
One God, for ever and ever. Amen.
--#284, The United Methodist Hymnal
graciously behold this your family,
for whom our Lord Jesus Christ was willing
to be betrayed into the hand of sinners,
and to suffer death upon the cross;
who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
One God, for ever and ever. Amen.
--#284, The United Methodist Hymnal
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
World Autism Awareness Day
Yesterday was World Autism Awareness Day. I lost track this year and was reminded when I read a post on a friend's blog. With all the media coverage in the past few years, people are becoming somewhat more aware of what autism is and the statistics, but here are some things you might not know about autism.
1. Moms and dads of children with autism often go through cycles of interest in the subject. Sometimes, we devour every book, magazine, and website we can lay our eyes on, spend hours on Internet forums, join support groups, even spend hundreds or thousands of dollars going to conferences to learn what no one really knows: what causes this and how can I help my child overcome it?
At other times, we want an autism news black-out. That's why World Autism Awareness day snuck up on me. We live it every single day, and constant saturation wears us out. Enough, already!
By the way, we can fluctuate between these two states of obsession and avoidance instantaneously, which only adds to our sense of being on a scary roller coaster ride without a safety bar.
2. One of the biggest social networking problems we parents face is the fact that every single child with autism is different. The saying in the autism community (we have our own community, you know) is "If you've seen one child with autism, you've seen one child with autism."
Those support groups I mentioned above have only limited usefulness because my experience as the mother of a well-behaved, high-functioning child bears absolutely no resemblance to the experience of a mother whose nonverbal son has to be institutionalized because he is now too big for her to control during his tantrums and he can't stop pulling out handsful of his sister's hair. Our two sons represent opposite ends of a spectrum of endless diversity.
How do you find people who can truly empathize with your particular situation, who can say, "I know exactly what you are going through"? It's tough. And isolating.
3. There's a lot of factionalism and division in the autism community. I've watched television talk shows that degenerate into name-calling and verbal violence over subjects like the gluten-free, casein-free diet or whether environmental toxins or genetics are to blame for the disorder. Internet forums are riddled with threads that degenerate into nasty name-calling and insults.
Without clear answers and definitive research results, chaos and ignorance rule. And where chaos and ignorance rule, cruelty thrives. One mother tells another, "If you loved your son, you'd put him on the GFCF diet." Another says, "I can't believe you're wasting your money on DAN doctors! You need to accept your child's condition and just take him home and love him."
Cruelty also takes the form of snake oil sales..."Give us $3,000, $30,000, $100,000 and we'll FIX your child!" Out of hundreds of treatment options that compete for parents' hard-earned money and government support, only a handful have serious scientific research backing them. Some have substantial anecdotal support and truly seem to help some people, but some treatments are complete hokum, as Dr. Sheldon Cooper would say. How do parents who don't have advanced degrees in child psychology, developmental pediatrics, and neuroscience distinguish false claims from legitimate avenues to pursue?
4. There's also a lot of compassion and realistic common sense in the autism community, too. I have two close friends whose approaches to treating their children with autism are polar opposites, while George and I have opted for a sort of middle ground. We all respect each other's decisions, support one another, encourage one another, and above all listen without judging each other. Also, some Internet forums are ruthlessly polite and supportive and respectful, although it can take effort to find them.
Almost all the therapists, special education teachers, doctors, and aides we've dealt with in the past six years--about fifty in all--have been lovely, positive, encouraging, skilled people. Many who work with our children understand their own level of informed ignorance. Their humility and willingness to try things give me hope--lots of it--for the future.
5. Autism, at least for us, can be funny. We laugh a lot, and Jack's sunny personality lifts us all up daily.
6. Autism is real, with 1 in 88 children diagnosed. What we do with it as a nation will say a lot about who we are as a people. Jack has had wonderful blessings in a school district dedicated to seeing him succeed, but not all school districts are as committed to helping our children. A friend's son was diagnosed in a district in Texas that wanted to warehouse him with other profoundly disabled children. The psychologist in that district told my friend her son would never read and never function in an inclusive education setting. After a futile fight that included lawyers, my friend and her family moved back to Ohio. This year, her son is in sixth-grade inclusion, without an aide, and doing extremely well. He reads above grade level, too. If my friend had listened to that first school psychologist and given up, her son wouldn't have left the warehouse the Texas district dared to call a "school" until it was time to move him into a group home. He's got a lot more hope now.
Her son's case highlights just how variable resources are across the country, and even from one school district to the next. We need more consistency in resource availability to help all children, no matter where they live; more informed and helpful bureaucrats and politicians making and executing policies that serve those who need help most; more money for research and treatment.
It might seem to be an overwhelming task, and it is. But like all big problems, let's each do what we can to help. Smile and offer kindness to the mom whose son is melting down at the grocery store, donate a few dollars where you can to legitimate autism charities, stand up for the rights of children who can't speak for themselves in your school district or when you vote on public services.
Thank you. From the whole autism community. Thank you.
1. Moms and dads of children with autism often go through cycles of interest in the subject. Sometimes, we devour every book, magazine, and website we can lay our eyes on, spend hours on Internet forums, join support groups, even spend hundreds or thousands of dollars going to conferences to learn what no one really knows: what causes this and how can I help my child overcome it?
At other times, we want an autism news black-out. That's why World Autism Awareness day snuck up on me. We live it every single day, and constant saturation wears us out. Enough, already!
By the way, we can fluctuate between these two states of obsession and avoidance instantaneously, which only adds to our sense of being on a scary roller coaster ride without a safety bar.
2. One of the biggest social networking problems we parents face is the fact that every single child with autism is different. The saying in the autism community (we have our own community, you know) is "If you've seen one child with autism, you've seen one child with autism."
Those support groups I mentioned above have only limited usefulness because my experience as the mother of a well-behaved, high-functioning child bears absolutely no resemblance to the experience of a mother whose nonverbal son has to be institutionalized because he is now too big for her to control during his tantrums and he can't stop pulling out handsful of his sister's hair. Our two sons represent opposite ends of a spectrum of endless diversity.
How do you find people who can truly empathize with your particular situation, who can say, "I know exactly what you are going through"? It's tough. And isolating.
3. There's a lot of factionalism and division in the autism community. I've watched television talk shows that degenerate into name-calling and verbal violence over subjects like the gluten-free, casein-free diet or whether environmental toxins or genetics are to blame for the disorder. Internet forums are riddled with threads that degenerate into nasty name-calling and insults.
Without clear answers and definitive research results, chaos and ignorance rule. And where chaos and ignorance rule, cruelty thrives. One mother tells another, "If you loved your son, you'd put him on the GFCF diet." Another says, "I can't believe you're wasting your money on DAN doctors! You need to accept your child's condition and just take him home and love him."
Cruelty also takes the form of snake oil sales..."Give us $3,000, $30,000, $100,000 and we'll FIX your child!" Out of hundreds of treatment options that compete for parents' hard-earned money and government support, only a handful have serious scientific research backing them. Some have substantial anecdotal support and truly seem to help some people, but some treatments are complete hokum, as Dr. Sheldon Cooper would say. How do parents who don't have advanced degrees in child psychology, developmental pediatrics, and neuroscience distinguish false claims from legitimate avenues to pursue?
4. There's also a lot of compassion and realistic common sense in the autism community, too. I have two close friends whose approaches to treating their children with autism are polar opposites, while George and I have opted for a sort of middle ground. We all respect each other's decisions, support one another, encourage one another, and above all listen without judging each other. Also, some Internet forums are ruthlessly polite and supportive and respectful, although it can take effort to find them.
Almost all the therapists, special education teachers, doctors, and aides we've dealt with in the past six years--about fifty in all--have been lovely, positive, encouraging, skilled people. Many who work with our children understand their own level of informed ignorance. Their humility and willingness to try things give me hope--lots of it--for the future.
5. Autism, at least for us, can be funny. We laugh a lot, and Jack's sunny personality lifts us all up daily.
6. Autism is real, with 1 in 88 children diagnosed. What we do with it as a nation will say a lot about who we are as a people. Jack has had wonderful blessings in a school district dedicated to seeing him succeed, but not all school districts are as committed to helping our children. A friend's son was diagnosed in a district in Texas that wanted to warehouse him with other profoundly disabled children. The psychologist in that district told my friend her son would never read and never function in an inclusive education setting. After a futile fight that included lawyers, my friend and her family moved back to Ohio. This year, her son is in sixth-grade inclusion, without an aide, and doing extremely well. He reads above grade level, too. If my friend had listened to that first school psychologist and given up, her son wouldn't have left the warehouse the Texas district dared to call a "school" until it was time to move him into a group home. He's got a lot more hope now.
Her son's case highlights just how variable resources are across the country, and even from one school district to the next. We need more consistency in resource availability to help all children, no matter where they live; more informed and helpful bureaucrats and politicians making and executing policies that serve those who need help most; more money for research and treatment.
It might seem to be an overwhelming task, and it is. But like all big problems, let's each do what we can to help. Smile and offer kindness to the mom whose son is melting down at the grocery store, donate a few dollars where you can to legitimate autism charities, stand up for the rights of children who can't speak for themselves in your school district or when you vote on public services.
Thank you. From the whole autism community. Thank you.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Gratitude Journal #132
Today, I am grateful for a beautiful Palm Sunday worship service and the tone it set for all this Holy Week. Hosanna! Save us! Indeed.
Today, I am grateful for fresh air and sunshine.
Today, I am grateful for the kindness of strangers.
Today, I am grateful that the hideous orange stucco is gone. Well, it's been gone for months, but I finally took a photo of the lovely, orange-free facade of our new home yesterday. I hope one day soon to say I'm grateful for having the yard put in!
Today, I am grateful for dogs who make us laugh even when we don't want to laugh.
Today, I am grateful for an email I received yesterday. It demonstrated the power of gratitude to heal hurts and worries, to shift our focus away from pain and toward something amazing and beautiful. We are, in so many ways, a product of our habits of mind...and being grateful is a powerful habit to cultivate.
What are you grateful for today?
What seeds of gratitude can you cultivate today?
Today, I am grateful for fresh air and sunshine.
Today, I am grateful for the kindness of strangers.
Today, I am grateful that the hideous orange stucco is gone. Well, it's been gone for months, but I finally took a photo of the lovely, orange-free facade of our new home yesterday. I hope one day soon to say I'm grateful for having the yard put in!
 |
| Next on the to-do list: paint the door brick red... |
Today, I am grateful for dogs who make us laugh even when we don't want to laugh.
Today, I am grateful for an email I received yesterday. It demonstrated the power of gratitude to heal hurts and worries, to shift our focus away from pain and toward something amazing and beautiful. We are, in so many ways, a product of our habits of mind...and being grateful is a powerful habit to cultivate.
What are you grateful for today?
What seeds of gratitude can you cultivate today?
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