Thursday, February 28, 2013

The Joys of Parenting

Certain things are guaranteed to elicit a delightfully embarrassed response from 13-year-old boys. For instance, when George and I kiss and hug, Nick will ask us to stop, which of course makes us kiss and hug more.

He never noticed these lovey acts before. Now, they mean something. And no one wants to think of his or her parents engaging in...something.

Can I just say that embarrassing my son is deeply satisfying? Delightfully satisfying. In a payback, vengeful sort of way. After all, this is the child who gave me stretch marks and took away my intelligence and muscle tone in one, eight-hour labor. A labor that left me scared every time I sneeze, people!

I feel entitled to embarrass him all I want.

So when I said the word tampon in his presence, he said, "Ewwww." And the fun began. At one point, he said, "At least you're not saying the V-word."

And I proceeded to repeat vagina about ten times right at him. Then I threw out some more delightfully anatomical words. "Fallopian tubes, cervix, uuuuuterus!"

That's when George yelled out, "Testicles!"

Nick yelled, "Nooooooo!"

And George and I knew we had won. Oh, yes. We tasted the sweet nectar of victory.

I can't wait for Nick to bring a girlfriend home so I can show her the pictures of Nick wearing a princess dress when he was six. I imagine that will taste of ambrosia and honey. A feast of parental joy!


  1. I just had to tell you, that on a world-class awful morning, you made me laugh right out loud. Thank you, Susan :)
    Embarrassing our kids is really a passion for us too - and heck, teasing them about those baby pictures? It's not possible to get them back enough for the sneezing problem. I'm still debating whether or not to put the naked-but-for-rubber-boots pic up on!

  2. Thanks from me as well. Even though mine DS is 30, I still can embarass him-I tell him it's in my mother contract!

  3. It's still easy to gross out our 5 thirty something kids just by saying this "picture this"... apparently they are in denial about where babies come from when it comes to their parents.

  4. I just busted out laughing! Just a couple of nights ago I was telling a long time friend that I can't wait until my boy is old enough to *really* be embarrassed by his mom! (I was already planning on buying my own set of pom-poms for when he needs a little extra acknowledgement!) :D

  5. LOL - thank for the laugh :) I can relate and it is fun to "even the odds" a bit after all they put us through in pregnancy and when they were babies. Good on you!!

  6. You are a woman after my own heart!


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