Today, I am grateful for yesterday's worship experience. Blessings overflow!
Today, I am grateful for cooler temperatures...so cool we've turned off the air conditioner and enjoyed a fire pit night Saturday. Our back yard is such a refuge of cool breeze, wood smoke, peace, bird calls and frog chirps, and firefly strobe lights.
Today, I am grateful that Daisy's wound is healing nicely and she seems fully recovered from whatever bug she picked up at the kennel. She no longer wears the cone of shame, and she must be grateful for that.
Today, I am grateful for the laughter Daisy brings into our lives.
Today, I am grateful that Nick's maturing into a very nice young man...who needs to shave about every two weeks already. Grateful, and a little sad, too.
Today, I am grateful for USAA's quick response to our account getting hacked. We've been members of USAA since before George went on active duty (meaning decades) and really, they are the best.
Today, I am grateful for those of you who have been reading this blog for the past five years. You've stuck with me through thick and thin, good and bad, frequent and sparse posting. Thank you so very much.
What are you grateful for today?
Monday, July 29, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Strange Adventures in the US Air Force: Belonging, Part 2
For Part 1 of this pair of posts, go here.
Belonging is important. We humans are social creatures, and feeling a sense of belonging increases our resilience to life's traumas, increases our happiness, and helps us live longer. Science confirms these benefits.
But our very mobile modern lives can sometimes make finding and keeping social groups difficult. Even if we ourselves don't move, our friends and family do. Some people have no problems moving, making new friends, or adjusting to a new situation. Others struggle, feel lonely, and quietly and painfully endure isolation.
When George and I found ourselves ostracized during his Air Liaison Tour with the Army Rangers, we found ways to make that two years as rich and meaningful as possible...without all the friends and support system we'd had when he was assigned to an Air Force squadron. Here are a few ideas you might be able to adapt if you find yourself in similar circumstances.
1. Meet your neighbors. I welcomed new neighbors to our apartment complex with brownies and made a few friends in the process. One of those neighbors, Mary, was married to the manager of the Columbus Country Club. She invited me to the monthly Christian Women's Club meetings there, and I even debuted as a wedding gown model in the country club's annual bridal show. Spiritual enrichment, fun social events, and girly dress-up all helped build a healthier sense of community and connection. You just never know where meeting a new person will take you!
2. Learn something new. George needed to get a masters degree for career advancement, and our lack of social life made this easier for him. He took night classes at a university where I taught, so we would meet for dinner before classes, and it was a wonderful way for us to connect. On weekends, we sat in our study working for hours, he on homework and I on grading and lesson plans. It was lovely to spend time together even though we were working hard. He actually enjoyed many of his graduate classes.
3. Commit fully to whatever you're doing. I was fresh out of graduate school at Wichita State University when we arrived in Columbus. Getting work teaching wasn't a problem...there was a shortage of college English instructors in Georgia and Alabama, and I ended up turning down job offers in both states. How wonderful!
In working at three different colleges, I taught lots of classes I had never taught before (remedial phonics and pronunciation, world literature, business writing, etc.), and even the class I had lots of experience with had different texts and requirements depending on the school. I networked with other instructors and professors, and spent countless hours learning more about teaching by actually teaching than I ever learned in my graduate teaching class.
I also accepted additional academic duties when they came my way...which for adjunct faculty isn't very often. Because I spent so much time on the campuses and knew the full-time faculty, I had opportunities to serve as a judge on a panel for scholarships and to teach summer school...things that rarely came up for adjunct faculty at the time.
Because of my extended office hours, I had time to work with students who needed extra help. This commitment to teaching was deeply enriching and soul-satisfying, not to mention helpful for my students, many of whom were older, worked to support families, or had disabilities. My flexibility made me more available for them, and they appreciated that. When one student's work schedule changed mid-quarter, he and I were able to meet a few hours a week at the library to cover instruction time and go over his work. Instead of having to drop the class, he finished with a B+.
The greatest blessing of my commitment to my students came in the form of a life-long friend and prayer partner named Lally. She was my student for two semesters, and when the teacher/student relationship was over, Lally made sure that George and I both felt a home away from home. She made food for us when we were stressed, she invited us for dinner, she prayed for and with us, and she helped us run errands when we were moving.
In other words, actively seeking growth and satisfaction in your work can make up for lack in social life. Eventually, you'll develop a social life from that enthusiasm.
4. Change your attitude. Sometimes, we get into negative thought patterns that trap us in negative situations. If you're feeling isolated, ostracized, or excluded in a situation where you have little control, you can change the way you think about it.
George and I couldn't control what the Rangers thought of us, but we could control our attitude toward the Rangers. Instead of resenting them or dwelling on our feelings of exclusion, we accepted that the Rangers and their families are an amazing group of people whose training and commitment to serving our nation are valuable and important. We were never going to belong with them, so we simply quit trying. We exercised good manners and healthy respect, but we stopped focusing on the fact they would never accept us.
Instead, we found ways to use our time constructively doing things that enriched our marriage and careers. In the process, we made real friends and grew as individuals. Martha Washington once said, "I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
Our circumstances may be beyond our control, but we can control our attitude. And if we have a good attitude, we'll find someplace to belong.
Eventually.
Please share your tips for belonging in the comments!
Belonging is important. We humans are social creatures, and feeling a sense of belonging increases our resilience to life's traumas, increases our happiness, and helps us live longer. Science confirms these benefits.
But our very mobile modern lives can sometimes make finding and keeping social groups difficult. Even if we ourselves don't move, our friends and family do. Some people have no problems moving, making new friends, or adjusting to a new situation. Others struggle, feel lonely, and quietly and painfully endure isolation.
When George and I found ourselves ostracized during his Air Liaison Tour with the Army Rangers, we found ways to make that two years as rich and meaningful as possible...without all the friends and support system we'd had when he was assigned to an Air Force squadron. Here are a few ideas you might be able to adapt if you find yourself in similar circumstances.
1. Meet your neighbors. I welcomed new neighbors to our apartment complex with brownies and made a few friends in the process. One of those neighbors, Mary, was married to the manager of the Columbus Country Club. She invited me to the monthly Christian Women's Club meetings there, and I even debuted as a wedding gown model in the country club's annual bridal show. Spiritual enrichment, fun social events, and girly dress-up all helped build a healthier sense of community and connection. You just never know where meeting a new person will take you!
2. Learn something new. George needed to get a masters degree for career advancement, and our lack of social life made this easier for him. He took night classes at a university where I taught, so we would meet for dinner before classes, and it was a wonderful way for us to connect. On weekends, we sat in our study working for hours, he on homework and I on grading and lesson plans. It was lovely to spend time together even though we were working hard. He actually enjoyed many of his graduate classes.
3. Commit fully to whatever you're doing. I was fresh out of graduate school at Wichita State University when we arrived in Columbus. Getting work teaching wasn't a problem...there was a shortage of college English instructors in Georgia and Alabama, and I ended up turning down job offers in both states. How wonderful!
In working at three different colleges, I taught lots of classes I had never taught before (remedial phonics and pronunciation, world literature, business writing, etc.), and even the class I had lots of experience with had different texts and requirements depending on the school. I networked with other instructors and professors, and spent countless hours learning more about teaching by actually teaching than I ever learned in my graduate teaching class.
I also accepted additional academic duties when they came my way...which for adjunct faculty isn't very often. Because I spent so much time on the campuses and knew the full-time faculty, I had opportunities to serve as a judge on a panel for scholarships and to teach summer school...things that rarely came up for adjunct faculty at the time.
Because of my extended office hours, I had time to work with students who needed extra help. This commitment to teaching was deeply enriching and soul-satisfying, not to mention helpful for my students, many of whom were older, worked to support families, or had disabilities. My flexibility made me more available for them, and they appreciated that. When one student's work schedule changed mid-quarter, he and I were able to meet a few hours a week at the library to cover instruction time and go over his work. Instead of having to drop the class, he finished with a B+.
The greatest blessing of my commitment to my students came in the form of a life-long friend and prayer partner named Lally. She was my student for two semesters, and when the teacher/student relationship was over, Lally made sure that George and I both felt a home away from home. She made food for us when we were stressed, she invited us for dinner, she prayed for and with us, and she helped us run errands when we were moving.
In other words, actively seeking growth and satisfaction in your work can make up for lack in social life. Eventually, you'll develop a social life from that enthusiasm.
4. Change your attitude. Sometimes, we get into negative thought patterns that trap us in negative situations. If you're feeling isolated, ostracized, or excluded in a situation where you have little control, you can change the way you think about it.
George and I couldn't control what the Rangers thought of us, but we could control our attitude toward the Rangers. Instead of resenting them or dwelling on our feelings of exclusion, we accepted that the Rangers and their families are an amazing group of people whose training and commitment to serving our nation are valuable and important. We were never going to belong with them, so we simply quit trying. We exercised good manners and healthy respect, but we stopped focusing on the fact they would never accept us.
Instead, we found ways to use our time constructively doing things that enriched our marriage and careers. In the process, we made real friends and grew as individuals. Martha Washington once said, "I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
Our circumstances may be beyond our control, but we can control our attitude. And if we have a good attitude, we'll find someplace to belong.
Eventually.
Please share your tips for belonging in the comments!
Monday, July 22, 2013
Gratitude Journal #197
Today, I am grateful for a week away to visit family, and I am grateful to be safely home.
Today, I am grateful for my new car, which performed spectacularly well on a very long road trip.
Today, I am grateful for birds. On the trip, we saw loons, bald eagles, an osprey, several varieties of duck, and an African grey parrot. The last was in a cage on an elevator but nevertheless cool to see.
Today, I am grateful for our comfortable home with air conditioning.
Today, I am grateful for light.
What are you grateful for today?
Today, I am grateful for my new car, which performed spectacularly well on a very long road trip.
Today, I am grateful for birds. On the trip, we saw loons, bald eagles, an osprey, several varieties of duck, and an African grey parrot. The last was in a cage on an elevator but nevertheless cool to see.
Today, I am grateful for our comfortable home with air conditioning.
Today, I am grateful for light.
What are you grateful for today?
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Gratitude Journal #196
Today, I am grateful for lakes, resorts, log cabins, kayaks, and red wine.
Today, I am grateful for a wonderful celebration of a wonderful life well lived. The memorial service at Our Savior's Lutheran Church was beautiful.
Today, I am grateful for electric fans and ceiling fans. Dang, it's hot in northern Minnesota.
Today, I am grateful for time with family.
What are you grateful for today?
Today, I am grateful for a wonderful celebration of a wonderful life well lived. The memorial service at Our Savior's Lutheran Church was beautiful.
Today, I am grateful for electric fans and ceiling fans. Dang, it's hot in northern Minnesota.
Today, I am grateful for time with family.
What are you grateful for today?
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
Gratitude Journal #195
Today, I am grateful for the fact that we are finished spreading 7.5 yards of mulch and I am still capable of moving.
Today, I am grateful to be blessed with a family to love. I am ever so grateful they love me, too.
Today, I am grateful to have wielded the PowerPoint slide-show clicker through church service without screwing it up once!
Today, I am grateful for travelling mercies for friends and family.
Today, I am grateful to be alive and awake, drinking coffee in a quiet house, hearing birdsong outside my window, and knowing that I will be useful today.
What are you grateful for today?
Today, I am grateful to be blessed with a family to love. I am ever so grateful they love me, too.
Today, I am grateful to have wielded the PowerPoint slide-show clicker through church service without screwing it up once!
Today, I am grateful for travelling mercies for friends and family.
Today, I am grateful to be alive and awake, drinking coffee in a quiet house, hearing birdsong outside my window, and knowing that I will be useful today.
What are you grateful for today?
Friday, July 5, 2013
In Memory of Our Furry Boy
Today, July 5, is the three-year anniversary of Hoover's death. What a terrible day in our family, for George especially, but before that, we had 13 years of Tigger living with us. Yes, he definitely should have been named Tigger. He was flouncy, jouncy, bouncy, pouncy fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
In his memory, I'm linking to a blog post he wrote for me not long before he was diagnosed with cancer. He was a good dog (mostly!) and leaped his way into our hearts. Those hearts broke when he had to be put to sleep.
After he died, Hoover sent Daisy to us for healing. She didn't replace him and has a different personality that makes her very, um, special, and she did heal us with her own unique sort of golden craziness combined with a sweetness that we needed. Hoover knew what he was doing when he bullied the angels into sending her to us.
I hope you enjoy reading Hoover's story in his own words. He reminds me that we're not supposed to cry because it's over but laugh because it happened at all.
Guest Blogger: Hoover
In his memory, I'm linking to a blog post he wrote for me not long before he was diagnosed with cancer. He was a good dog (mostly!) and leaped his way into our hearts. Those hearts broke when he had to be put to sleep.
After he died, Hoover sent Daisy to us for healing. She didn't replace him and has a different personality that makes her very, um, special, and she did heal us with her own unique sort of golden craziness combined with a sweetness that we needed. Hoover knew what he was doing when he bullied the angels into sending her to us.
I hope you enjoy reading Hoover's story in his own words. He reminds me that we're not supposed to cry because it's over but laugh because it happened at all.
Guest Blogger: Hoover
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