tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4432615092204334311.post8027969982582786307..comments2023-08-10T06:57:45.911-04:00Comments on Questioning my Intelligence: Build Others UpSusan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4432615092204334311.post-22479065623666079102015-10-07T09:28:22.746-04:002015-10-07T09:28:22.746-04:00It's so hard to see our children hurt!!!!It's so hard to see our children hurt!!!!Susan Raihalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4432615092204334311.post-39777742204050142132015-09-04T04:28:50.638-04:002015-09-04T04:28:50.638-04:00Interesting how your timing coincides with my life...Interesting how your timing coincides with my life! ;)<br />One of my better friends (since Jr High - which should give you an idea of my age!) has been an on again/off again relationship for decades. Mostly it wasn't really a divorce - more of a distance - with a couple of notable exceptions. Recently I think we are in the middle of a divorce and I don't think she's noticed. About 6 months ago she got a divorce (a real one! :) and moved in with her new boyfriend. At the same time she's been going to AA, NA, personal therapy, and women's group counseling. She now lives closer to an hour away (her excuse) and rarely has time to spend with me (either in person or on the phone). Honestly, I think it's fantastic that she's straightening her life out. And I've been as supportive and caring as I could possibly be for the last year.<br />Thing is, she's my son's favorite person. She used to be a fixture at our house, literally having dinner with us 2 or 3 nights a week - now we might see her once every 3-6 months. It's been really tough for this mama to watch him miss her (and she is not keeping the commitments that she makes with/to him) and put things off so he can "wait for Robin".<br />When she finally returned my calls (literally 3 months after I had last spoken to her) I was as honest as possible. I told her that this behavior wasn't acceptable. I wasn't going to watch my son be crushed when she didn't follow through. And I wasn't interested in a nonreciprocal relationship for myself. We talked for a long time, and while I didn't believe that it was "fixed", I was hopeful. She came to visit, made plans with my boy, and then didn't follow through again. *sigh*<br />I feel like I've already said everything that I needed to say. I've heard the "I'm sorry" and the excuses. And while I'm sad that this cycle of friendship has come to an end, perhaps it will cycle around again. That's okay. I just wish my boy wasn't the one I have to explain it to. :( Marihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13194762573301423887noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4432615092204334311.post-77256118182374991052015-09-03T20:09:01.469-04:002015-09-03T20:09:01.469-04:00It takes a wise and humble person to recognize whe...It takes a wise and humble person to recognize when they've used that parent voice! You are absolutely right...we ALL need to guard our tongues!Susan Raihalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4432615092204334311.post-7094540410222234082015-09-03T10:29:05.249-04:002015-09-03T10:29:05.249-04:00How true!! As I was reading your post, I realized ...How true!! As I was reading your post, I realized that I have often unknowingly used 'a parent voice' with my sister and friends. What I meant for good was delivered in a hurtful manner. Words have consequences. They have power to create or destroy. We must speak with love and kindness. Let us all be more diligent in guarding our tongue. Gingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02239606345954121388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4432615092204334311.post-48343526237747385842015-09-03T09:01:37.247-04:002015-09-03T09:01:37.247-04:00wonderful post. wonderful!!wonderful post. wonderful!!Joan Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06377295989258923610noreply@blogger.com