tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4432615092204334311.post4693123791653161404..comments2023-08-10T06:57:45.911-04:00Comments on Questioning my Intelligence: A Few More Words This WeekSusan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4432615092204334311.post-1466046107891381832011-06-27T07:18:38.895-04:002011-06-27T07:18:38.895-04:00What an important lesson to learn, Lynn, and thank...What an important lesson to learn, Lynn, and thank you for sharing it. I think most people struggle with this. We're hardwired to "keep the peace" and it can so easily cross over into feeling exploited and disregarded. Assertive self-defense can be hard to learn (oh so hard in the case of first-born pleasers like me!), but it's essential for personal happiness!Susan Raihalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4432615092204334311.post-24615252658058763172011-06-26T18:38:56.518-04:002011-06-26T18:38:56.518-04:00For years I had a fear of going against the flow -...For years I had a fear of going against the flow - other peoples flow - and of saying no. I tried to please too many people instead of pleasing myself and it started to make me feel resentful. My father was a great pacifist; he would do whatever others wanted to 'keep the peace' and it became habit forming with an occasional outburst of frustration. Sadly dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he suddenly realised that saying no occasionally and putting himself first now and again didn't cause the sky to fall in on him but this realisation came too late for him. Because of dad's illness and being aware of his realisation made me rethink my attitude of 'anything to keep the peace' regimen. I no longer fear saying politely but firmly 'no' I don't wish to do I would rather do this instead! I feel much more content with myself and happier taking on committments because it is now my choice and not 'forced' upon me.gardenpinkshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13174376745178217681noreply@blogger.com